Dead on the inside

So I've been pretty much on the rocks all week. It could be because I haven't had my period in over a month. It could be that I'm unemployed, stuck in suburbia at my parents', have no car, credit card companies calling me every day, and $70,00o student loan debit that needs repaying starting in July. Who knows?

But today I get to go to a funeral for a kid my own age who just woke up one morning with a throbbing pain in his head and his eyes hurting. Hours later they found him slumped over dead. Apparently he had a brain aneurysm. He was my uncle's nephew that I always had a crush on cause he looked dorky with glasses and always had a little chub on him. He is the second death this week, my mom's cousin just died of liver cancer. He was living in Louisiana and had just stopped treatment, so he decided to come back to Los Angeles so he can be with the family and see what they could still do for him out here. He got here Tuesday and that night at the hospital with his sister, brothers, and my grandpa there, he died.

It's been a dark week.